Reboot – The Declassified Adventures of Baker & Grodd – MK Stangeland, Jr.

(For the record – No, I do not intend on using this as the basis for any future Baker & Grodd bits I write, it’s just a thematic one-off.)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: ANIMAL MAN is outside a dimly lit cell inside a prison for super criminals. He gives the wall next to the cell a knock.

SFX: nuk nuk nuk

ANIMAL MAN (1): Knock-knock!

ANIMAL MAN (2): This is your wake-up call.

Panel 2: A hint of GORILLA GRODD can be seen peering out from the darkness of the cell.

GRODD: grrrr…

ANIMAL MAN: There you are, big guy.

Panel 3: ANIMAL MAN looks into the cell, where GRODD is still mostly hiding in the darkness of his cell, giving him a dark and scary appearance.

ANIMAL MAN (1): No need to play dumb, Grodd.

ANIMAL MAN (2): I’ve been very well informed about how smart you are.

ANIMAL MAN (3): Maybe even too smart for your own good.

Panel 4: GRODD continues to skulk in the darkness of his cell.

GRODD (1): Ha.

GRODD (2): What would a human weakling know about true intelligence?

Panel 5: ANIMAL MAN and GRODD look at each other through the cell viewport.

ANIMAL MAN (1): Aw - You wound me, Grodd.

ANIMAL MAN (2): See, they tell me you’re a criminal mastermind, and probably only avoided real punishment because they have no idea how to put a Gorilla on trial.

Panel 6: ANIMAL MAN looks happily ready to take on a challenge – perhaps disturbingly so.

ANIMAL MAN (1): You ask me?

ANIMAL MAN (2): I think you just need an attitude adjustment, Grodd.

(End Page)

Thought Balloons Year 5 – Baker & Grodd’s Homagetastic Adventure! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(Originally, I was planning on taking a page from Ben Rosenthal’s book and re-working a page I previously wrote but was unhappy with.

But then, when I thought about it, I realized the correct answer for this week would be to pay another visit to what I think has managed to become my signature duo here at Thought Balloons, the unlikely but always fun pairing of Animal Man and Gorilla Grodd.

Notably, this particular script is heavily based on a particular newspaper comic strip you may well recognize – bonus points to the first one to correctly guess which one!)

(4 Panels)

Panel 1: DARKSEID overlooks his minions as he prepares for war.

TITLE TEXT BOX: Baker & Grodd by Stangeland Jr.

ANIMAL MAN: (Text Box) We have a massive problem. Darkseid is getting ready to attack Earth. Again.

Panel 2: Human citizens as they go about their daily lives.

ANIMAL MAN: (Text Box) And we have no idea who to trust or how to stop him this time.

GRODD: (Text Box) BAH! Foolish weakling. I already have a solution!

Panel 3: Three gorillas fly through the air, SUPERMAN style, complete with capes. GRODD should be among them, and have a SUPERMAN style ‘G’ on his chest.

GRODD: (Text Box) KRPTONIAN-POWERED SUPER GORILLAS!!

Panel 4: Inlaid within the corner of PANEL 3. GRODD and ANIMAL MAN are discussing the issue. ANIMAL MAN is wary of GRODD’s plan, GRODD isn’t keen on ANIMAL MAN not liking it.

ANIMAL MAN: I’m not sure you’re taking this seriously, Mr. Grodd.

GRODD: I’m taking it seriously like you would not believe!

(END PAGE)

Gorilla Grodd – Baker & Grodd’s Psychotic Adventure! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(Admittedly, I was tempted not to do another edition of Baker & Grodd this week just to mess with you all. But these two are just too much fun to pull a stunt like that, honestly.)

(In this edition, ANIMAL MAN and GORILLA GRODD have found themselves on the wrong end of a PERSONALITY RAY built by the ULTRAHUMANITE, effectively reversing their normal personalities!)

(7 Panels)

Panel 1: ULTRAHUMANITE, in his lab, as he tries to hide. He remains relatively calm in spite of this, though with  the impression he realizes he’s bitten off more than he can chew.

ANIMAL MAN: (Off-Panel) HUMANITE! COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!

Panel 2: ULTRAHUMANITE stops short as he just about runs into ANIMAL MAN. ANIMAL MAN looks particularly angry, verging on having a mild touch of evil to him. He also looks like he’s getting ready to strike. Surrounding him are the auras of a GORILLA and a HUMMINGBIRD.

ANIMAL MAN (1): There you are.

ANIMAL MAN (2): Revenge shall be mine!

ULTRAHUMANITE: Oh dear.

Panel 3: GORILLA GRODD throws himself at ANIMAL MAN with a tackle move, but doesn’t directly hit ANIMAL MAN. Instead, ANIMAL MAN is being tossed aside by a ‘telekinetic tackle’.

GRODD: I DO SAY!

ANIMAL MAN: Uughf!

Panel 4: GRODD grabs ANIMAL MAN. ANIMAL MAN is disheveled from GRODDs interference.

GRODD: This behavior is MOST unbecoming of you, Mr. Baker!

Panel 5: GRODD looks to ULTRAHUMANITE as he offhandedly tosses ANIMAL MAN across the room. ULTRAHUMANITE looks to be recomposing himself.

GRODD (1): Apologies for my friend here, Ultrahumanite.

GRODD (2): It appears as though he’s developed quite the anger issues!

ULTRAHUMANITE: No apologies needed.

Panel 6: GRODD leaps at ANIMAL MAN in an attempt to restrain him and get him under control.

GRODD (1): Oh irony of ironies!

GRODD (2): Long have I desired a moment such as this!

Panel 7: GRODD grabs ANIMAL MAN in a headlock.

GRODD (1): Yet now?

GRODD (2): I take no pleasure in it at all!

(END PAGE)

Christmas Special – Baker & Grodd’s Festive Adventure! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(The ever-unpredictable gift that keeps on giving adventures of ANIMAL MAN and GORILLA GRODD continue…)

(8 Panels)

Panel 1: The planes from the heart of AFRICA, where ANIMAL MAN and THE FLASH (WALLY WEST) are standing next to GORILLA GRODD’s invisible lair. ANIMAL MAN is dressed with a SANTA BEARD and HAT over his normal costume and carries a standard-design brown bag, while FLASH is wearing one of those silly ELF hats that has faux elf ears attached. ANIMAL MAN looks as pleased as ever, while FLASH looks unusually concerned about the situation – it’s more a concern for ANIMAL MAN than anything.

While the area around the invisible lair looks off, the surest sign that it’s actually there is the doorway that’s standing out in the open that GORILLA GRODD has opened, allowing us to see just a touch of the inside of the lair past the open door. GRODD looks very annoyed by the presence of ANIMAL MAN.

ANIMAL MAN (1): HO! HO! HO!

ANIMAL MAN (2): MERRY CHRISTMAS!

GRODD: YOU AGAIN!

Panel 2: GRODD points at FLASH as he comes just short of shouting in ANIMAL MAN’s face.

GRODD (1): What are you doing here, what is he doing here, and how did you even FIND this place?!

GRODD (2): This is supposed to be a top-secret invisible base!

Panel 3: THE FLASH facepalms as ANIMAL MAN responds to GRODD’s questioning. ANIMAL MAN looks highly pleased with himself.

ANIMAL MAN (1): Magic, Mr. Grodd!

ANIMAL MAN (2): Christmas magic! It is Christmas Eve, after all!

SFX: (From THE FLASH) *Facepalm*

Panel 4: Unamused reaction shot from GRODD.

Panel 5: GRODD slams the door shut as he disappears back into his invisible lair. THE FLASH does another faceplam. ANIMAL MAN holds a generic present box in his hand as his bag hangs in front of him.

GRODD: BEAT IT!

SFX: SLAM!

ANIMAL MAN (1): The proper term is ‘Bah Humbug!’, Mr. Grodd!

SFX: (From FLASH) *Repeat Facepalm*

ANIMAL MAN (2): And you forgot your present!

Panel 6: GRODD opens the door to his invisible lair again and slaps the box onto the ground out of ANIMAL MAN’s hand. ANIMAL MAN and FLASH both are taken aback at the sudden reaction.

SFX: (From GRODD hitting box) SLAP!

SFX: (From box hitting ground) klump

Panel 7: GRODD slams the door and disappears back into the invisible lair.

GRODD: (From invisible door) BAH HUMBUG!

SFX: SLAM!

Panel 8: ANIMAL MAN looks down at the ground where GRODD’s present currently sits. THE FLASH does yet another facepalm.

ANIMAL MAN: (Minimized) That’s, uh…the…spirit?

ANIMAL MAN: (Fading out) Not…uh…really? I think?

SFX: (From FLASH) *Continued Facepalm*

(END PAGE)

Space Cabby – Baker & Grodd’s Inexplicable Adventure! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(It’s been nearly two years since the last time we checked in on the unlikely yet fan-favorite duo of ANIMAL MAN and GORILLA GRODD – seems another visit is in order.

This time, the two found themselves somehow stranded far away from Earth! Good thing SPACE CABBY was there to lend a hand! Or is it…?)

(5 Panels)

Panel 1: ANIMAL MAN and GORILLA GROOD are stuffed in the back seat of SPACE CABBY’s SPACE CAB. ANIMAL MAN looks like he should be a lot more uncomfortable than he’s letting on, but he’s hiding just how squished he is right now for the sake of keeping thing – and GRODD – peaceful. In an unusual turn of events, SPACE CABBY looks concerned as he drives.

SPACE CABBY (1): Uh oh…

GRODD: ‘Uh Oh’ what?

SPACE CABBY (2): Seems we have a problem the likes of which I’ve never seen.

SPACE CABBY (3): I have no idea where we are!

Panel 2: GORILLA GRODD looks ready to get violent, but ANIMAL MAN is doing a pretty good job of holding him back. For the moment, at least.

GRODD: I swear, if you don’t fix that problem, I will feast on your brains!

ANIMAL MAN: My apologies for my friend here.

Panel 3: ANIMAL MAN looks at GRODD with a ‘tsk tsk shame on you’ look.

GRODD is not amused.

ANIMAL MAN: As I keep trying to tell him, he has anger issues.

Panel 4: ANIMAL MAN leans forward to see if he can help SPACE CABBY with his problem. He also looks secretly relieved to get a brief moment to stretch, if only just a little.

ANIMAL MAN: What seems to be the problem?

SPACE CABBY (1): I’m not quite sure.

SPACE CABBY (2): It’s almost as if…

BUGS BUNNY: (Off Panel) Eh…

SFX: *munch munch*

Panel 5: SPACE CABBY, ANIMAL MAN, and GORILLA GRODD all look out the windows. Standing there, leaning on the cab and enjoying a carrot is BUGS BUNNY.

This panel should also give us the first real good look at their surroundings, which should look like a wilderness scene taken from a LOONY TUNES cartoon.

BUGS BUNNY: Like ya took a wrong turn as Albaquoique?

SFX: *munch munch*

(END PAGE)

Planet of the Apes – Baker & Grodd’s Bogus Adventure! – MK Stangeland Jr.

AKA: Detour to the Planet of the Apes

BEHOLD! Tis the continuing adventures of one of Thought Balloons most unlikely and ridiculous team-ups as they inadvertently travel to another world…

(7 Panels)

Panel 1: ANIMAL MAN and GORILLA GRODD are in a separated cage, with APE SOLDIERS and a CHIMP in a suit – LOZAR - standing around them. LOZAR is pointing at GRODD.

LOZAR: Why is he in a cage?

COMMANDER YONGK: He attacked us. Violently.

ANIMAL MAN: You’ll have to forgive my…companion. He…

Panel 2: LOZAR turns to look at ANIMAL MAN. GRODD has a ‘I’m surrounded by morons’ look on his face.

LOZAR: He speaks?

GRODD (1): Of course he speaks, you idiot.

GRODD (2): It’s silencing him that is the difficult part.

Panel 3: LOZAR glares at GRODD.

LOZAR: Hmm…such disrespect.

Panel 4: GRODD reaches out of his cage in attempt to grab LOZAR. LOZAR backs off defensively to protect himself and keep from getting grabbed. The soldiers in the background have their weapons at the ready.

GRODD (1): YOU WANT DISRESPECT?

GRODD (2): Release me, and I’ll show you disrespect!

Panel 5: Beat panel. LOZAR looks at GRODD with a shocked look on his face.

Panel 6: LOZAR recomposes himself.

SFX: (LOZAR, clearing his throat.) Heh-hem

LOZAR (1): Well then. Have this…beast locked up. We’ll deal with him later.

LOZAR (2): Have the human brought to my office.

Panel 7: ANIMAL MAN and GRODD next to each other in their cages. GRODD looks furious. ANIMAL MAN has a ‘I told you so’ look to him.

ANIMAL MAN (1): It’s like I said, Mr. Grodd.

ANIMAL MAN (2): You have anger issues.

(END PAGE)

Animal Man – Hollywood - Shaun Richens.

1 PAGE

4 PANELS.

1,2,3 Are all equal size and make up the top row. 4 is a ¾ splash.

1. Close up on the word TIGHTS as it is being typed into an Internet search bar.

2. A list of top searches has appeared. The top one is an IMDB result for the Movie TIGHTS.

3. The poster for the movie TIGHTS fills most of this panel, we see a small close up picture of BUDDY BAKER in the cast list underneath.

4. We pull really far back to an over the shoulder shot of BUDDY BAKER sat at a computer screen looking at the user reviews for the indie movie TIGHTS that he starred in.

On screen we can read the following:

2/10 stars – 5 MAY 2012

Daranovsky has been let down by the wooden performance of his “star” washed up B list superhero Buddy Baker.

9/10 stars. – 3 MAY 2012

One of the best films of 2012, Buddy Baker is a star in the making.

5/10 stars – 3 MAY 2012

Not a bad flick, it’s kinda hard to take a guy in tights serious though, it’d be like watching a drama about a wrestler.

Read more user reviews….

         CAPTION BUDDY:

Hollywood is harder than being a real hero. 

Animal Man -Legacy- Dan Hill

A little bit of a misunderstanding on my part meant I thought I was up against it time wise with this one, so apologies if it seems a little rushed.

The basic setup is that the scene takes place just before the Lemire/Foreman series and involves Buddy and Congorilla about to go and meet the man they've deemed worthy of taking up the mantle of Freedom Beast.

PAGE 22

Panel One

We open on a wide panel of BUDDY and CONGORILLA sat on a large branch of a thick, ancient tree somewhere in the African jungle. They are about ten or fifteen feet above the jungle floor.


Shafts of daylight stream down from above them and they sit with their back to us. Buddy, on the left of the panel, is out of uniform wearing a pair of cargo shorts (shirtless Buddy is so in this year). Congorilla, on the right of the panel, is holding Freedom Beast's helmet in front of him, though we can’t see it clearly yet.

CONGORILLA:  I’ve seen the brother of a war hero cower and run.

CONGORILLA:  I’ve watched a traitor’s son throw himself on a grenade for Queen and country.

Panel Two

Cut to a tight shot on Congorilla, looking up at him slightly as if from the point of view of the helmet. He's pensive, this decision is weighing heaving on his mind.

CONGORILLA:  Legacies are a funny thing. They can be a burden and a blessing.

Panel Three

Cut to a tight shot on Buddy. He looks to his right (our left) towards Congorilla.

BUDDY:  Bill, you’re preaching to the choir.

Panel Four

Cut to a wide panel and a shot of Bwana Beast’s helmet as held by Congorilla.

BUDDY (OP):  I’m a lucky man. No hexes. No time travel.

BUDDY (OP):  No ring, cape, or helmet to pass on.

Panel Five

Another wide panel, this time we get a shot looking up at Buddy and Congorilla as they jump down from the branch to the jungle below.

BUDDY:  Ellen would kill me if I even tried.

Panel Six (Inset of Panel Seven)

Tight on Buddy smiling at Congorilla, his arm motioning in an ‘after you’ gesture.

BUDDY:  Come on...

Panel Seven

Wide panel. In the background of the panel we can see Buddy and Congorilla, their backs to us, walking into the jungle.

In the foreground of the panel a red python slithers through the undergrowth.

BUDDY:  We’ll let him decide.

Animal Man - Family Ties - Grant McLaughlin

A quiet scene in the Baker household, a handful of years before all the badness and madness that is the current Animal storyline.  Simpler times.

The first three panels take up the top third of the page, while the fourth panel takes up the remaining two thirds.

1 – Ellen and Mary are in the kitchen, washing dishes. Ellen is washing and Mary is drying. Mary is looking out the window and smiling inwardly. Ellen looks up towards her mother.

MARY: *sigh*

ELLEN: What is it, Mom?

2 – Close-up on Mary. She's looking towards Ellen (and the reader), wearing a genuine smile.

MARY: Honey, I know that I've been hard on him, but when I see him with your kids, part of me can't help but see how special Buddy really is.

3 – Switch to Ellen. Her full attention is on her mother. She is happy and relieved to hear such words from her mother's mouth. She's smiling, with some tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

ELLEN (1): ...

ELLEN (2): Thanks, Mom.

4 – An outside shot of the house. Both Ellen and Mary are visible through the window, hugging. However, the main focus is on Buddy playing with Cliff and Maxine (who are younger than they are in the current series). I'm open for how exactly the father and his children are playing, although I would like something physical where they're all touching in some way to emphasize how close they are. Maybe have one child hanging from his outstretched arm while the other runs or crawls between his legs. The important thing is that they're all having a great time, wearing huge grins and laughing.

ELLEN (caption): That means a lot.

Animal Man – Baker & Grodd’s Outrageous Adventure! – MK Stangeland Jr.

(The efforts of ANIMAL MAN to avert a war between mankind and apes led by GORILLA GRODD have resulted in the two taking a road trip together.)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: Arial shot of ANIMAL MAN and GORILLA GRODD riding in a jeep across a remote road in the African countryside. ANIMAL MAN is at the wheel.

ANIMAL MAN: Believe me, I want to be on your side, Mr. Grodd. I really do.

Panel 2: Panel set in front of the jeep as it drives down the road. GRODD looks rather annoyed at his present situation.

ANIMAL MAN (1): I’d like to think that the name ‘Animal Man’ isn’t just because of my powers.

ANIMAL MAN (2): I’d also like to think it’s because I’m a friend to all animals.

Panel 3: GRODD looks at animal man with a sinister scowl. His index finger presses against the side of an unconcerned ANIMAL MAN’s head.

GORILLA GRODD: Before we are through here, I will thoroughly enjoy consuming your brain.

Panel 4: Panel set not far ahead of where the jeep is, showing a bridge that GRODD and ANIMAL MAN are about to cross.

ANIMAL MAN: That is exactly the thing I’m talking about, Mr. Grodd.

Panel 5: Panel in front of the jeep. GRODD has his face in the palm of his hand as if to say ‘I can’t believe I’m putting up with this.’

ANIMAL MAN: Your constant aggression and threats to eat peoples brains is why I have such reservations about helping you.

Panel 6: ANIMAL MAN offhandedly points a finger at GRODD. GRODD looks forward as if to say ‘wait. Why should I have to put up with this?’

ANIMAL MAN (1): You know what I think, Mr. Grodd?

ANIMAL MAN (2): I think you have anger issues.

(END PAGE)

Animal Man - Primal Instinct - Ben Rosenthal

1. Buddy Baker sleeps in his bed. From the way the sheets are rustled, we can see that he has not been sleeping soundly.


CAPTION (1)
He can absorb the abilities of any animal.



2. A close up of half of Buddy's face.  His eye has snapped open.


CAPTION (1)
The proportional strength of an ant. The leap of a flea. He takes the best attributes of any animal.



2. A deer is running through the woods, panic on its face.


CAPTION (2)
I don't see what the problem is. He sounds quite valuable.



3.  A silhouette from the side. It is of the deer being caught by some kind of predatory animal, although we cannot tell what it is.


CAPTION (1)
I'm just worried-



4. Buddy Bucky is crouched over the dead deer. It's stomach is split, as Buddy devours it's intestines.


CAPTION (1)
-that he doesn't give all the attributes back.

Animal Man – Hunted – Ryan K Lindsay

PAGE 20 – 2 PANELS

1. Wide and thin panel atop the page. Mid-shot. Animal Man lies face down in the mud, he is in pain. He is shirtless with the pants, his usual look this past year. Rain pours down and all is dark; it is night and only the moon casts a faint light through the canopy of the rainforest.

Animal Man: …uugghhhh…

2. Wide shot. This panel is the rest of the page. Animal Man is still down in the mud, at the bottom of the page, and we can now see behind him all of the rainforest lit up by a lightning strike. Standing proudly in the rainforest, reading to pounce from his perch, is Kraven the Hunter.

Credits

Hunted: Part 1

Written by Ryan K Lindsay

Caption: Next month: EXTINCTION!

Why Animal Man?

Because he’s so hot right now. No, seriously, the guy languished for years and then suddenly he reappears in the DCnU 52 and he’s one of the best titles of the past year. Jeff Lemire and Travel Foreman, with friends, have made Animal Man a must read title once more. That’s surely no easy feat.

I must admit, I wasn’t previously an A-Man fan – even the nickname gives me the willies. I hadn’t read any of his books and I didn’t think he could actually be that cool. But, he kind of is. He isn’t A grade and he knows it. He’s just a guy who can channel the abilities of animals around him and he thinks quick to use these. I like the simplicity of it all.

I also dig that it's now this funky horror comic. And that Buddy baker is pretty much exclively shirtless. And they kept the kid's mullet. Anyway, now I'm gushing.

If you haven’t dipped into Animal Man then think about getting in with the first trade of the Lemire/Foreman run. Then get your hands on what Grant Morrison did with him. Then enjoy yourself.

Now I just hope no one gives him the power of the human centipede.